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The Ikons
by James
K Baxter
Hard, heavy,
slow, dark,
or so I find them, the hands of Te Whaea
teaching me to
die. Some lightness will come later
when the heart has lost its unjust hope
for special
treatment. Today I go with a bucket
over the paddocks of young grass,
so delicate like
fronds of maidenhair,
looking for mushrooms. I find twelve of them,
most of them
little, and some eaten by maggots,
but they’ll do to add to the soup. It’s a long time now
since the great
ikons fell down,
God, Mary, home, sex, poetry,
whatever one
uses as a bridge
to cross the river that only has one beach,
and even one’s
name is a way of saying –
‘This gap inside a coat’ – the darkness I call God,
the darkness I
call Te Whaea, how can they translate
the blue calm evening sky that a plane tunnels through
like a little
wasp, or the bucket in my hand,
into something else? I go on looking
for
mushrooms in the field, and the fist of longing
punches my heart, until it is too dark to see.