Occasional pieces for the congregation of St John's, West Ealing

At St John's anyone who stays around long enough risks finding themselves the subject of some piece of eulogy or nonsense, typically to mark their departure or some significant anniversary, and on one occasion (for Peter MacKenzie) on their arrival. 

Collaboration with various actors and musicians has created some memorable events. Sadly (or perhaps mercifully) there are few extant recordings. There exist videos of a 13-song Beatles' spoof (a five-man Beatles with Don McRobbie, Adrian Jones, Jon Pagden, me and Clive MacKenzie as a black Ringo) for Stan Dakin's departure from St Johns ("Stanley Dakin's Broken Hearts Club Band"), and of the Swedish supergroup "Saab" (Adrian Jones=Bjorn, Jo Whitfield=Frida, Sue Wylie=Agnetha and me as Benny) performing at John and Carina Persson's wedding ("Carina takes it all...") which no doubt will find their way onto this site in time. I regret there was no recording of The Sound Of Dallow, in which Jo Whitfield played the Rev Gill Dallow as Julie Andrews to perfection, but the script and lyrics at least survive and are included here.

Most of these pieces are made public with the agreement of their subjects, but I am happy to remove any which anyone feels causes undue embarassment. Equally, some are missing due to the inadequacies of my record-keeping (the originals were given to the subjects) so if anyone possesses a copy of something absent, please send to posterity c/o me.

And can it be (for the Rev Tessa Rust, 2011)
All the stops (for Margaret Creasy, 2011)
Gary (The fastest hoover in the West) (for Gary Fenton, 2011)
Sarah's Farewell Songs (for Sarah Hobbs, 2008)
Welcome Reverend Pete (for Peter Mackenzie, 2008)
Ode to Joy (for Joy Atkins, 2007)
Where there's a Will (for Will Donaldson, 2007)
Homage to Bonnie Scotland (for Burns' Night, 2007)
Mary Lazarus' Birthday Calypso (2006)
Lines written in honour of John and Deborah Chapman (2005)
The wonderful thing about Bavvers (for John Bavington, 2002)
Lines written in praise of Ellen Breton (2001)
A shilling a day (for Mollie Clay, 2001)
Joan's Birthday Picnic (for Joan Hills, 2001)
Lament of the Parish Weekend Administrator (for Mark Rand, 2000)
Lines written in praise of Michael and Kate Coulson (1999)
Parish Weekend Limericks (1999)
Maureen (for Maureen Toley, 1999)
The Sound of Dallow (for Gill Dallow, 1998)
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury (for Mark Bratton, 1998)
Lines written in praise of Donald W. McRobbie (1998)
The Secret Diary of Ian Fishwick, Aged 43 3/4 (1998)
Men of Ealing (for Gill Dallow, 1997)
St Mellitus' Dance (for John Hereward, 1995)
Five Candles (for Graham and Karen Taylor-Burge, 1993)
Sounds of Stanley (for Stan Dakin and others, circa 1990)